when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
