I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
