just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
