It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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