didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
