i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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