you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
