i may or may not be watching the land before time
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
