...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
this just has baby written all over it
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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