i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
