Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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