dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize