You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
