Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
