What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
