from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
