Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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