Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
