Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
