Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
