did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
