Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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