some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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