You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
