its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
