you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
