i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
