we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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