SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
