i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
