Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I would ride that face into the sunset
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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