Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
