I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize