Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.

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(314): View more from Missouri

just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle

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(519): View more from Ontario

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.

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(630): View more from Illinois

you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.

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(210): View more from Texas

just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"

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(647): View more from Ontario

Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone

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(312): View more from Illinois

I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again

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(725): View more from

What did you spend the night in her closet?

(702): View more from Nevada

She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there

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