i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
