i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
