Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
