Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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