I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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