You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
