your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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