I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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