Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Panties = found
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
