OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
