all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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