So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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