Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize