i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
