I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
tonight lets celebrate not being married
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
