Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
