dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
