so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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