I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
That accounts for only three of the penises
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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