is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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