Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
There are leaves in my underwear?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
