One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
