oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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