He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
