I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
