Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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