did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
