Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
