I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
