You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
