The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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