Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
