I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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