Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Boobs speak an international language.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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