can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
