JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize