So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
