In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
one might say we're banned from that church
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
