Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
