i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
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