Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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