a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
